


Gay

by annaloverofarendale



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, Lucille doesn't help, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 16:31:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5055805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annaloverofarendale/pseuds/annaloverofarendale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gob Bluth isn't gay. Really. He totally definitely isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gay

Gob Bluth isn’t gay. He’s kind of handsy when he’s drunk, that’s all. Or at least that’s what he tells himself when he hooks up with the lead of the school magic club. Afterwards, when Gob Bluth is Definitely Not freaking out, Ramon taps him on the shoulder.

“Hey. Have I told you about forget-me-nows?” His voice is rough, and understandably so, given what they just did, his throat must be so sore.

Gob shakes his head no, a little afraid that if he tries to talk, he’ll stutter.

Ramon reaches into a night stand, which is ironic given the circumstances. “You’ll thank me later. Or, you won’t. Point is, you won’t remember.” He gives Gob a stern look. “If someone learns a trick, you have to use this to keep the secrets of our order.” 

Gob Bluth dry swallows the pill.

And when he wakes up, he doesn’t remember anything.

~

Gob Bluth isn’t gay. The other Hot Cops are just really, really hot. As per the name. In fact, Gob is probably only doing this out of insecurity about his own body, that’s it. Not a lust, not a craving he can’t stop, just normal, heterosexual nervousness about his abs.

Gob looks at What’s His Name With The Blue Eyes and Justin and What’s His Name With The Great Ass. “Okay, here’s how we’re gonna orchestrate this orgy.”

He has the pill ready to go with a glass of water in the bathroom. It knocks him right out, and when he wakes up, alone and naked in a motel room, he doesn’t react, just smiles and brushes himself off.

He’s so silly, drinking until he blacks out, for no reason whatsoever.

Gob Bluth should totally find out what chick Michael’s banging and bang her. That’s always hilarious.

~

Gob Bluth isn’t gay. If he was, his mother would hate him even more.

“The homosexuals in this country have gone too far!” Lucille would sound more persuasive if she put down her martini so she could gesture with both hands. “The deal was, they could be hairstylists and fashion designers and wedding planners, but that! That is it!” 

On the TV, there’s something about a politician coming out. Gob squints at the screen. The guy looks... normal.

“This is breaking the social contract! This is-” Gob tunes out his mother and watches quietly. Michael is quiet too, and looking at Gob in a way that makes him feel a little nervous, for some reason.

So if Gob Bluth starts egging his mother on, cursing and yelling at the nice normal looking man, they’re just bonding. Just like a normal family.

~

Gob Bluth isn’t gay.

But.

He does love Tony. So, he fakes it for a while. He gets the right clothes and talk and doesn’t understand when Tony frowns. He undresses Gob and pushes him onto the bed. 

Gob looks into Tony’s bright blue eyes and waits. 

Tony eventually shakes his head and tells Gob, “The clothes don’t matter, Gob. None of it matters, except for what happens here, in the bed. And like, in our hearts and stuff. Stop worrying.”

And after a long kiss, then a long fuck, Gob Bluth decides that maybe, just maybe.

He’s kind of a little bit gay.


End file.
